...from the "triathlete" part of me to the "writing" part:
My last two play-going experiences have been intriguing ones, if not for the reasons that play-going is usually referred to as "intriguing." In each case, I went because I knew someone affiliated with the production, and thus both wanted to show my support for their work as well as see what they've been working on. In both cases, the acting was superb: there were people on those stages doing some simply wonderful work.
The "intriguing" part had to do with the material those actors were working with: in each case, it was, to say the least, problematic.
Play #1 went something like this:
Character 1: Monologue monologue monologue monologue.
Character 2: Monologue monologue monologue monologue.
Character 1: Monologue? Monologue monologue monologue monologue.
Character 3: Monologue! Monologue monologue monologue monologue.
You get the idea.
Play #2 began with a semi-realistic premise, then spun it in ever-widening and ever-wierdening circles until the characters were no longer consistent, believable, or even fully human. For three hours.
What was intriguing to me wasn't just the heroism of the actors in each case doing remarkable jobs with such stuff, but the fact that both playwrights in question are well-known, indeed celebrated. And neither play was a 'minor' work of said authors.
Hmm, thought I to myself. If these two can write this sort of thing and get away with it, is it possible that the stuff I write (and almost immediately condemn as dreadful schlock) might not be quite so bad as my inner critic invariably insists it is?
I'm not claiming my writing's necessarily as good as that of these playwrights, or that of any author at the top of her or his profession: far from it. But perhaps there's a chance that I should persuade my inner critic to give myself just a bit of a break at the outset of new projects-- at least enough to let things sit for a while and see if they'll become something more useful.
header
Monday, February 6, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
Fifteen minutes, and other musings.
This is the response I use when the whinies kick in-- those annoying mental voices that start going on about how it's cold outside, it's wet, and I don't wannaaaaaaa!!!! at the prospect of doing my slated workout for the day. (Curiously, they tend to kick in more in the afternoon than in the early morning-- possibly because I'm not really awake when I start up in the morning-- and most often when I have to leave work and go to the pool.) They're both irritating and awfully persistent, the whinies, and have the dangerous potential to be effective if listened to for any length of time.
Hence my response. "Fifteen minutes," I say to them. Yes, whiny voices, you have been heard: I'm going to go and try whatever workout is on the schedule for fifteen minutes. If at the end of that time I'm still cranky, grumpy, and unwilling to continue, I can stop.
So far, I've always completed the workout in question-- once I get moving (once I get both wet and moving in the case of swim sessions), I'm usually feeling much better about life by the time fifteen minutes are up; so much so that I've yet to check my watch to see if the requisite minutes have elapsed yet, being far too busy doing the workout to remember to check anything.
I've also come up with some more thoughts about why I'm doing this. Really, there's no rational explanation at all for running in circles (either outside around a local block or inside around a teeny-tiny running cement running track suspended above an often vaguely odorous basketball gymnasium) at 5AM. Since the scenery's literally nothing to look at, I find myself often returning to this question as I trot along, and I realized recently that there's much here to do with encountering my limitations and engaging with them. Not in an "ooo, that's a barrier so I mustn't go there" kind of way, nor in a temper-tantrum-throwing, battering-at-the-walls kind of way. Instead, training at increasing volumes and eventually increasing intensities in order to complete a 17-hour race is a way to realize that though limitations are a part of being human, they're not absolute barriers to anything-- it's possible to acknowledge their existence while still going beyond them. Indeed, the very best experiences I've ever had as an athlete or an actor have been those transcendent ones, where I was left both fully (and humbly) aware of my own (limited) human-ness and yet amazed by the fact that I had gone far beyond what I had originally thought myself capable of.
So one way to phrase the "Why?" response is that I'm chasing transcendence. Though "chasing" isn't quite the right word, now that I think about it, because I'm not running after something in a desperate attempt to corner and claim it-- rather, I'm creating opportunities for it to find me. And the more I train-- the more consistently I train-- the more chances it has to do so. It's a kind of hide-and-seek, really.
The issue of consistency is a new one for me, too-- though I've been a dedicated gym-goer for years, I've never actually followed a formal training plan before, choosing instead to cobble together stuff that I more or less felt like doing. So far, with almost 5 weeks of Fink's plan completed, the main difference I've noticed is in consistency: I swim twice a week (with no swapping a swim session for an elliptical session due to an attack of the whinies), bike three times a week, and run four times. I also work some strength sessions in twice a week-- these are optional as far as Fink's concerned, and it's interesting to me that these are the sessions that vary in length and difficulty depending on how I feel, because I'm cobbling them together: an avenue for the whinies to insert their tedious little fangs, it seems. But at the moment, that's my training week. No omissions, no substitutions, no excuses. So far, it's working remarkably well-- there's a part of me that relaxes knowing that there's a plan, I'm following the plan, so all I have to do is Workout X. No need to worry about what I'm doing, whether it's enough, should I be doing something else, etc. And since consistency is one thing that differentiates actual training from simply "working out," I'm sticking with it-- 'twill be interesting to see how it goes as time and training continue.
Hence my response. "Fifteen minutes," I say to them. Yes, whiny voices, you have been heard: I'm going to go and try whatever workout is on the schedule for fifteen minutes. If at the end of that time I'm still cranky, grumpy, and unwilling to continue, I can stop.
So far, I've always completed the workout in question-- once I get moving (once I get both wet and moving in the case of swim sessions), I'm usually feeling much better about life by the time fifteen minutes are up; so much so that I've yet to check my watch to see if the requisite minutes have elapsed yet, being far too busy doing the workout to remember to check anything.
I've also come up with some more thoughts about why I'm doing this. Really, there's no rational explanation at all for running in circles (either outside around a local block or inside around a teeny-tiny running cement running track suspended above an often vaguely odorous basketball gymnasium) at 5AM. Since the scenery's literally nothing to look at, I find myself often returning to this question as I trot along, and I realized recently that there's much here to do with encountering my limitations and engaging with them. Not in an "ooo, that's a barrier so I mustn't go there" kind of way, nor in a temper-tantrum-throwing, battering-at-the-walls kind of way. Instead, training at increasing volumes and eventually increasing intensities in order to complete a 17-hour race is a way to realize that though limitations are a part of being human, they're not absolute barriers to anything-- it's possible to acknowledge their existence while still going beyond them. Indeed, the very best experiences I've ever had as an athlete or an actor have been those transcendent ones, where I was left both fully (and humbly) aware of my own (limited) human-ness and yet amazed by the fact that I had gone far beyond what I had originally thought myself capable of.
So one way to phrase the "Why?" response is that I'm chasing transcendence. Though "chasing" isn't quite the right word, now that I think about it, because I'm not running after something in a desperate attempt to corner and claim it-- rather, I'm creating opportunities for it to find me. And the more I train-- the more consistently I train-- the more chances it has to do so. It's a kind of hide-and-seek, really.
The issue of consistency is a new one for me, too-- though I've been a dedicated gym-goer for years, I've never actually followed a formal training plan before, choosing instead to cobble together stuff that I more or less felt like doing. So far, with almost 5 weeks of Fink's plan completed, the main difference I've noticed is in consistency: I swim twice a week (with no swapping a swim session for an elliptical session due to an attack of the whinies), bike three times a week, and run four times. I also work some strength sessions in twice a week-- these are optional as far as Fink's concerned, and it's interesting to me that these are the sessions that vary in length and difficulty depending on how I feel, because I'm cobbling them together: an avenue for the whinies to insert their tedious little fangs, it seems. But at the moment, that's my training week. No omissions, no substitutions, no excuses. So far, it's working remarkably well-- there's a part of me that relaxes knowing that there's a plan, I'm following the plan, so all I have to do is Workout X. No need to worry about what I'm doing, whether it's enough, should I be doing something else, etc. And since consistency is one thing that differentiates actual training from simply "working out," I'm sticking with it-- 'twill be interesting to see how it goes as time and training continue.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Today's thought while riding on the trainer.
I've been dealing with an annoying headache for the past few days-- it started on Tuesday, after a poor night's sleep and a loooooong day dealing with work stuff followed by a lengthy callback audition, and has persisted in slightly less painful but no less persistent fashion to today. I know exactly what's causing it: I can feel the very muscle in my neck that's tensing and how it sends pain like lightning flashes across the right side of my head. As for what's causing that particular muscle to tense, I'm sure it's some combination of stress and possibly sleep positioning-- might need to investigate pillow options as my current ones don't appear to help much.
After an interrupted night (awake from 1:30-3:30ish, tra la), my resting HR was considerably higher than usual-- a surefire sign that I'm not particularly rested and should take it easy today. Fortunately, today's scheduled workouts include a 30-minute bike trainer session, spinning at 100+ RPM while keeping my HR in the lowest zone possible, which is a technique drill more than anything else and thus isn't terribly demanding physically (hint: use a very easy gear and very fast music). As I spun along, I thought about the fact that the typical attitude towards difficult tasks, not just among triathletes but in our culture in general, is to 'bear down and do it,' to tighten up, suck it up, HTFU and get 'er done-- bulldoze one's way through obstacles, pain, and difficulty to achieve the day's goal.
While there are unquestionably moments when that sort of approach is useful, I realized that there is another option: to relax and get it done. Since I was trying to avoid tensing up today, I practiced taking a deep breath from time to time, letting whatever tension I could go, and proceeding from there. It seemed to work well, even though I had to remind myself to do it every few minutes. But when I did, my HR went down several beats and my legs would spin just as quickly or sometimes even faster. Interesting. When I got off the bike, I found a useful stretch for my neck courtesy of the iMuscle app (an incredibly cool and useful app, this, found courtesy of my indefatigable Chief Enabler), and have been using that a few times this morning while reminding myself to let go. So far, so good (or at least better).
So I think I'll be working on this idea alongside my HTFU capacities as I train, 'cos tension's really not all it's cracked up to be. Next up: a swim session this afternoon-- I plan to walk to and from the pool as the snow increases in volume outside...I've always liked walking during a snowfall!
After an interrupted night (awake from 1:30-3:30ish, tra la), my resting HR was considerably higher than usual-- a surefire sign that I'm not particularly rested and should take it easy today. Fortunately, today's scheduled workouts include a 30-minute bike trainer session, spinning at 100+ RPM while keeping my HR in the lowest zone possible, which is a technique drill more than anything else and thus isn't terribly demanding physically (hint: use a very easy gear and very fast music). As I spun along, I thought about the fact that the typical attitude towards difficult tasks, not just among triathletes but in our culture in general, is to 'bear down and do it,' to tighten up, suck it up, HTFU and get 'er done-- bulldoze one's way through obstacles, pain, and difficulty to achieve the day's goal.
While there are unquestionably moments when that sort of approach is useful, I realized that there is another option: to relax and get it done. Since I was trying to avoid tensing up today, I practiced taking a deep breath from time to time, letting whatever tension I could go, and proceeding from there. It seemed to work well, even though I had to remind myself to do it every few minutes. But when I did, my HR went down several beats and my legs would spin just as quickly or sometimes even faster. Interesting. When I got off the bike, I found a useful stretch for my neck courtesy of the iMuscle app (an incredibly cool and useful app, this, found courtesy of my indefatigable Chief Enabler), and have been using that a few times this morning while reminding myself to let go. So far, so good (or at least better).
So I think I'll be working on this idea alongside my HTFU capacities as I train, 'cos tension's really not all it's cracked up to be. Next up: a swim session this afternoon-- I plan to walk to and from the pool as the snow increases in volume outside...I've always liked walking during a snowfall!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Curious things noticed on the running track...
...at 9AM on a Sunday morning:
1) A guy in sweat pants, newish running shoes, watch cap, and a new-looking Bears Super Bowl championship leather jacket (yes, with the '86 date on the sleeve) walking/jogging around, while his little girl rode her pink bike (complete with training wheels) next to him, or ahead of him, or occasionally to catch up to him after she'd taken a break to consume some hydration fluid (which was clearly part of the whole attraction of being there). Sometimes she'd zoom off across the field, too. Cute stuff-- dude must have been hotter than hell in that jacket, though, since it wasn't terribly cold outside.
2) Not long after, a mom came to walk her laps while her daughter played on the bleachers or shot around on her pink scooter. This one liked playing on the Astroturf so she could see what kinds of patterns the wheels made in the frost as she swerved. Also cute-- I was glad that no field maintenance folk showed up to tell the girls to stop playing, though I can imagine that wheels don't do the track or the field any favours.
3) A guy all dressed up in Rocky-wear-lite (layers of cotton, including baggy shorts over tights) walking one lap and taking care to hork up what looked from a distance like half a lungful of crap onto the field before adjusting his watch cap to the right rugged angle and heading elsewhere. Charming.
3) Most bizarre sight by far: a well-dressed couple came strolling onto the track, arm in arm, chatting, carrying coffees, and proceeded to meander around about 4 times. He was in jeans, puffy jacket, and dress shoes; she wore a skirt or dress, flared overcoat, chunky heels, and carried a large handbag. When they left, they got into a parked car just outside the field and drove off, still with coffees etc. (Had I been talking to someone at this point, I might have been rendered speechless.) Even if they were killing time before heading elsewhere, who on earth strolls around a high school track (instead of the rather pleasant neighbourhood nearby) in heels on a Sunday morning? While carrying a handbag instead of locking it in the car? Ah well-- more power to them for getting out and moving around, at any rate... (This time, I was glad there were no maintenance folk around because they'd have had conniptions.)
The prospect of trotting around a 400m track for an hour might seem boring, but it's amazing just how fascinating the human scenery can become! Plus, I managed to catch some of the little sun we've had today, which is no bad thing.
1) A guy in sweat pants, newish running shoes, watch cap, and a new-looking Bears Super Bowl championship leather jacket (yes, with the '86 date on the sleeve) walking/jogging around, while his little girl rode her pink bike (complete with training wheels) next to him, or ahead of him, or occasionally to catch up to him after she'd taken a break to consume some hydration fluid (which was clearly part of the whole attraction of being there). Sometimes she'd zoom off across the field, too. Cute stuff-- dude must have been hotter than hell in that jacket, though, since it wasn't terribly cold outside.
2) Not long after, a mom came to walk her laps while her daughter played on the bleachers or shot around on her pink scooter. This one liked playing on the Astroturf so she could see what kinds of patterns the wheels made in the frost as she swerved. Also cute-- I was glad that no field maintenance folk showed up to tell the girls to stop playing, though I can imagine that wheels don't do the track or the field any favours.
3) A guy all dressed up in Rocky-wear-lite (layers of cotton, including baggy shorts over tights) walking one lap and taking care to hork up what looked from a distance like half a lungful of crap onto the field before adjusting his watch cap to the right rugged angle and heading elsewhere. Charming.
3) Most bizarre sight by far: a well-dressed couple came strolling onto the track, arm in arm, chatting, carrying coffees, and proceeded to meander around about 4 times. He was in jeans, puffy jacket, and dress shoes; she wore a skirt or dress, flared overcoat, chunky heels, and carried a large handbag. When they left, they got into a parked car just outside the field and drove off, still with coffees etc. (Had I been talking to someone at this point, I might have been rendered speechless.) Even if they were killing time before heading elsewhere, who on earth strolls around a high school track (instead of the rather pleasant neighbourhood nearby) in heels on a Sunday morning? While carrying a handbag instead of locking it in the car? Ah well-- more power to them for getting out and moving around, at any rate... (This time, I was glad there were no maintenance folk around because they'd have had conniptions.)
The prospect of trotting around a 400m track for an hour might seem boring, but it's amazing just how fascinating the human scenery can become! Plus, I managed to catch some of the little sun we've had today, which is no bad thing.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Do Tigers Play Banjos?
(With thanks to E. Izzard for the question.)
If so, they're welcome to use my hamstrings if they need spare strings anytime...
Yesterday's workout was a swim and a bike ride-- the bike was 30 minutes of keeping the heart rate in Zone 1 (the lowest of Fink's 4 training zones; see below for more on these) while spinning the legs at 100+RPM. A tricky feat, juggling those two numbers-- go too fast on the legs and the HR goes over; slow down to let the HR recover and the legs go below 100RPM. First thing in the morning before breakfast, that's a lot to keep in mind. And by the middle of the day after an hour's drive to get stuff done, my hamstrings had clearly tuned up for a session with Steve Martin (a very accomplished banjo player, in case you didn't know-- and yes, I know some curious facts about comedians, all right?). In other words, OUCH. Had at them last night with the foam roller: they laughed; I nearly wept.
Yesterday's lesson: post-workout stretching is NOT optional. I do yoga in the evenings (more for my sanity than anything else, really), but clearly I have to make sure to stretch various muscle groups right after I use them while I'm training as well. Good to know.
Today's lesson: post-workout electrolytes are not really optional either-- while I can get along without them, I feel terribly thirsty all the time, and I've just drunk some NUUN and feel ever so much better as a result, so clearly on the 2 hour+ workout days, electrolytes are a Good Thing.
Today's session was a spin class (which I really enjoy, so I'm going to try to keep going on Fridays even though it's an add-on to The Plan), followed by a 30-minute run with HR in Zone 2 (inside on the dreadmill because I was already hot and sweaty; didn't even have my iPod with me but somehow managed to muddle through, thank heavens), followed by some core strength work and a set of rehab exercises (no WAY am I going to go through a relapse and end up pool running for hours on end). Came home, ate a small snack, showered, and then because it was such a gorgeous day outside I walked a mile and a quarter or so to get some errands done. Managed to resist the temptations of 5 Guys and their freshly cooked burgers and fries...and also managed not to eat ALL of the sushi for sale at Whole Foods. Near thing, though: sushi = YUM. Makes me glad that the cookbook I just got has lots of recipes for snack-type things for eating during exercise that involve sushi rice: that stuff is GOOD when you're hungry!
I have a rather sneaking suspicion that I'm likely to be hungry on a pretty regular basis as The Plan continues. Ah well, we'll see how it goes... right now I'm trying not to overdo anything because I know I'm not actually working out much more (in terms of time) than I used to. That will change, of course-- the more immediate change is that my workouts are very precisely targeted in terms of time spent in specific HR zones (derived as a percentage range of my maximum HR, which I had tested just before Christmas so I have real data to base them on rather than the wonkiness of any numbers of formulae). On the one hand, that means I'm working much more consistently in a given zone than I had been before; on the other, there's something wonderfully liberating about not having to worry about how far or how fast I'm going at the moment! Concentrating on staying in a given zone is nice and simple; speed and distance will come eventually. Or, at least, that's my hope.
In the meantime, the extent of my happiness at the fact that a second strap for my HR monitor should be in my hands tomorrow is pretty much indicative of my state of mind at the moment. (Putting on a cold and clammy HR strap for one's second workout of the day is so dispiriting...) We'll see how it works next Tuesday, when my next double day is scheduled! In the meantime, it's the weekend, so LSD-central for biking and running chez WT. Hope the weather holds on Sunday for the run... luckily for me, I have lots of fun videos to watch while pedaling on the trainer tomorrow-- thanks, Mum, Dad, and Chief Enabler!
If so, they're welcome to use my hamstrings if they need spare strings anytime...
Yesterday's workout was a swim and a bike ride-- the bike was 30 minutes of keeping the heart rate in Zone 1 (the lowest of Fink's 4 training zones; see below for more on these) while spinning the legs at 100+RPM. A tricky feat, juggling those two numbers-- go too fast on the legs and the HR goes over; slow down to let the HR recover and the legs go below 100RPM. First thing in the morning before breakfast, that's a lot to keep in mind. And by the middle of the day after an hour's drive to get stuff done, my hamstrings had clearly tuned up for a session with Steve Martin (a very accomplished banjo player, in case you didn't know-- and yes, I know some curious facts about comedians, all right?). In other words, OUCH. Had at them last night with the foam roller: they laughed; I nearly wept.
Yesterday's lesson: post-workout stretching is NOT optional. I do yoga in the evenings (more for my sanity than anything else, really), but clearly I have to make sure to stretch various muscle groups right after I use them while I'm training as well. Good to know.
Today's lesson: post-workout electrolytes are not really optional either-- while I can get along without them, I feel terribly thirsty all the time, and I've just drunk some NUUN and feel ever so much better as a result, so clearly on the 2 hour+ workout days, electrolytes are a Good Thing.
Today's session was a spin class (which I really enjoy, so I'm going to try to keep going on Fridays even though it's an add-on to The Plan), followed by a 30-minute run with HR in Zone 2 (inside on the dreadmill because I was already hot and sweaty; didn't even have my iPod with me but somehow managed to muddle through, thank heavens), followed by some core strength work and a set of rehab exercises (no WAY am I going to go through a relapse and end up pool running for hours on end). Came home, ate a small snack, showered, and then because it was such a gorgeous day outside I walked a mile and a quarter or so to get some errands done. Managed to resist the temptations of 5 Guys and their freshly cooked burgers and fries...and also managed not to eat ALL of the sushi for sale at Whole Foods. Near thing, though: sushi = YUM. Makes me glad that the cookbook I just got has lots of recipes for snack-type things for eating during exercise that involve sushi rice: that stuff is GOOD when you're hungry!
I have a rather sneaking suspicion that I'm likely to be hungry on a pretty regular basis as The Plan continues. Ah well, we'll see how it goes... right now I'm trying not to overdo anything because I know I'm not actually working out much more (in terms of time) than I used to. That will change, of course-- the more immediate change is that my workouts are very precisely targeted in terms of time spent in specific HR zones (derived as a percentage range of my maximum HR, which I had tested just before Christmas so I have real data to base them on rather than the wonkiness of any numbers of formulae). On the one hand, that means I'm working much more consistently in a given zone than I had been before; on the other, there's something wonderfully liberating about not having to worry about how far or how fast I'm going at the moment! Concentrating on staying in a given zone is nice and simple; speed and distance will come eventually. Or, at least, that's my hope.
In the meantime, the extent of my happiness at the fact that a second strap for my HR monitor should be in my hands tomorrow is pretty much indicative of my state of mind at the moment. (Putting on a cold and clammy HR strap for one's second workout of the day is so dispiriting...) We'll see how it works next Tuesday, when my next double day is scheduled! In the meantime, it's the weekend, so LSD-central for biking and running chez WT. Hope the weather holds on Sunday for the run... luckily for me, I have lots of fun videos to watch while pedaling on the trainer tomorrow-- thanks, Mum, Dad, and Chief Enabler!
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
2012: The Year of Living Audaciously
It's been ages since I posted, and (as often happens when delays in writing occur) so much has happened that it seems well-nigh impossible to get caught up on everything and thus to move ahead with what's happening now. Since the now-ness of things is really important to me in this post, I shall, therefore, give a ridiculously brief recap of 2011 in order to get to the present moment and think about that.
So, the last three-quarters of 2011 in a nutshell:
--Got into a bike accident in May, which totaled my Cannondale but left me intact save some bumps and bruises. The thing I remember most clearly is sitting in the middle of the road, thinking I could easily be dead right now. Needless to say, the world hasn't looked the same since.
--Got accepted into, and graduated from, the School at Steppenwolf-- an intensive 10-week professional actor training programme. An incredible experience with some of the most amazing people I've ever had the privilege to meet. Wonderful in every sense of the word, even when we were all exhausted and going through our respective processes in all their messiness.
--Had the fun experience of a fabulous staged reading with some excellent castmates, director, and production folk: one night only, but it was a night well worth having!
--At the very end of the year, I got word that the scholarly edition I've been working on for several years (with prospectuses flying hither, thither, and yon) has just been accepted by the publisher. The contract arrived just before Christmas-- I'll complete and sign it by the end of this month.
Those are the highlights, at least-- of course, plenty of other things like classes, family visits, and so forth took place as well. But this ultra-quick recap can bring me to now, which is where the title of this post comes in.
Over American Thanksgiving weekend, my fabulous sister (hereinafter to be known as my Chief Enabler, for reasons that will become rapidly obvious) came for a visit. Black Friday morning, she was off in the living room chatting on the phone while I perused a book I'd just acquired: Don Fink's Be Iron Fit, incorporating various plans for training Iron-distance triathlons. (An Iron-distance triathlon-- the term "Ironman" is actually a trademark, used for races run by a specific company-- is 2.4 miles of swimming, 112 miles of cycling, and 26.2 miles of running, back-to-back-to-back. To be an official finisher, one must complete these three elements under one's own steam within 17 hours.) The book's well-written, and I happily turned the pages, thinking, Huh-- I already train about as much as this plan calls for at the outset. Interesting. Didn't think much more about it...a few minutes later, I decided to check my Twitter feed to see if any interesting links had been posted. Just for amusement's sake, I clicked on the feed from the Globe and Mail for my horoscope for the day. Here's what I read:
"Think the unthinkable thought. Dream the impossible dream. If you can get your mind around an idea or concept that is too big for most people it means you can also turn it into part of your everyday reality. Do it now."
Huh, thought I, that's interesting. Since CE was still on the phone in the other room, back I turned to Fink. His next chapter happened to be on goal-setting and race selection, and he listed some races he liked. The last one in the chapter was the Esprit Triathlon in Montreal, an Iron-distance race that, he said, "has a supportive and nonthreatening feel."
When I read this, I could feel a near-audible click inside, the kind of click that says: Yes. This. Now.
Looked up the race site: the date was doable. I'll be on sabbatical in the fall anyway, so plenty of time to recover afterward. Counting backward from then, I realized I had 9 months to train for it: one month of pre-plan training, then eight months of planned training using Fink's book.
By the time CE came back into the dining room, I was sitting there looking like a stunned ox. "I think I'm in trouble," I said.
"How? I wasn't gone for that long..." she understandably replied, and I explained. At which point she laughed and laughed and laughed. And every time I mentioned yet another thing I'd thought of about this crazy idea over the next 24 hours, she laughed-- and agreed. Every single time. If that ain't enabling behaviour of the very best kind, I don't know what is.
She even came up with the right adjective: "Instead of calling it 'crazy' or 'ridiculous'," she said, "how about 'audacious'?" And so I signed up for the Esprit Montreal Iron-distance Triathlon that night, and so 2012 became The Year of Living Audaciously.
I've gone through quite the emotional roller-coaster about it all already: everything from "Cool! This will be amazing!" to "WTF was I thinking????"-- and I expect that to continue. Today was Day 2 of The Plan (Day 1 was an official rest day-- gotta love a training plan that starts with a day off!), and I found myself decidedly uninspired after a bad night's sleep. While I ate breakfast, I read yet another article that emphasized the importance of knowing why you're doing an Iron-distance race, because when the going gets tough on race day (and it will, no doubt about it), you need to have that at your core in order to get through it all. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out just why I'd decided to do this: because my reading of a newspaper horoscope happened to coincide with my reading of Fink's book? Because I can? Hell, I'm not even sure that I can, so what on earth is there?
The Plan called for a 30-minute run and a longer swim today, so I layered on some clothes and headed out the door to get the run in outside (I loathe treadmills), thinking At least I can get moving. For the sake of my joints, I decided to do some laps at the local high school track, since that sprung surface was decidedly softer than frozen concrete would be. It was cold and windy, but the sun was out, so off I went.
And a funny thing happened as I trotted around in circles, keeping my heart rate in the relatively low zone Fink had prescribed. I realized at least one of the reasons why I'm doing all of this: halving my savings to buy a tri bike, training 6 days a week, often twice a day, experimenting with nutrition and clothing and hydration and (no doubt) peeing, all in the effort to complete 140.6 miles of self-propelled movement in 17 hours or less on September 8th, 2012. This crazy, ridiculous, audacious stuff. I might not have all the reasons yet, but one became clear:
I'm doing it to be present now. To live and pay attention to now.
If I get ahead of myself and start thinking about the whole race at this point, I'll just freak out-- and there's no need to do that, because I'm not doing the whole race right at this moment. If I dawdle in the past, I'll get caught up in old stuff that's long gone and over-- I could well have been killed in that bike accident, for instance, but I wasn't. No idea why not, so there's no point in puzzling over it. All I can do is pay attention to what's happening right now, whether I'm trotting around a track or in the middle of my 99th length of the pool.
There's something very simple about this realization, I know-- but it also feels profound. I also know it's a lesson that will take plenty of repeating to get me to learn it fully. Fortunately, The Plan involves lots of repetition.
So that's where I am at the moment: starting out on an audacious journey towards 140.6 miles. And here's where I'll be posting, thinking, and/or kvetching about the strange and wonderful things along the way (homemade kale chips, for instance, are rather moreish-- who knew?). Welcome aboard.
So, the last three-quarters of 2011 in a nutshell:
--Got into a bike accident in May, which totaled my Cannondale but left me intact save some bumps and bruises. The thing I remember most clearly is sitting in the middle of the road, thinking I could easily be dead right now. Needless to say, the world hasn't looked the same since.
--Got accepted into, and graduated from, the School at Steppenwolf-- an intensive 10-week professional actor training programme. An incredible experience with some of the most amazing people I've ever had the privilege to meet. Wonderful in every sense of the word, even when we were all exhausted and going through our respective processes in all their messiness.
--Had the fun experience of a fabulous staged reading with some excellent castmates, director, and production folk: one night only, but it was a night well worth having!
--At the very end of the year, I got word that the scholarly edition I've been working on for several years (with prospectuses flying hither, thither, and yon) has just been accepted by the publisher. The contract arrived just before Christmas-- I'll complete and sign it by the end of this month.
Those are the highlights, at least-- of course, plenty of other things like classes, family visits, and so forth took place as well. But this ultra-quick recap can bring me to now, which is where the title of this post comes in.
Over American Thanksgiving weekend, my fabulous sister (hereinafter to be known as my Chief Enabler, for reasons that will become rapidly obvious) came for a visit. Black Friday morning, she was off in the living room chatting on the phone while I perused a book I'd just acquired: Don Fink's Be Iron Fit, incorporating various plans for training Iron-distance triathlons. (An Iron-distance triathlon-- the term "Ironman" is actually a trademark, used for races run by a specific company-- is 2.4 miles of swimming, 112 miles of cycling, and 26.2 miles of running, back-to-back-to-back. To be an official finisher, one must complete these three elements under one's own steam within 17 hours.) The book's well-written, and I happily turned the pages, thinking, Huh-- I already train about as much as this plan calls for at the outset. Interesting. Didn't think much more about it...a few minutes later, I decided to check my Twitter feed to see if any interesting links had been posted. Just for amusement's sake, I clicked on the feed from the Globe and Mail for my horoscope for the day. Here's what I read:
"Think the unthinkable thought. Dream the impossible dream. If you can get your mind around an idea or concept that is too big for most people it means you can also turn it into part of your everyday reality. Do it now."
Huh, thought I, that's interesting. Since CE was still on the phone in the other room, back I turned to Fink. His next chapter happened to be on goal-setting and race selection, and he listed some races he liked. The last one in the chapter was the Esprit Triathlon in Montreal, an Iron-distance race that, he said, "has a supportive and nonthreatening feel."
When I read this, I could feel a near-audible click inside, the kind of click that says: Yes. This. Now.
Looked up the race site: the date was doable. I'll be on sabbatical in the fall anyway, so plenty of time to recover afterward. Counting backward from then, I realized I had 9 months to train for it: one month of pre-plan training, then eight months of planned training using Fink's book.
By the time CE came back into the dining room, I was sitting there looking like a stunned ox. "I think I'm in trouble," I said.
"How? I wasn't gone for that long..." she understandably replied, and I explained. At which point she laughed and laughed and laughed. And every time I mentioned yet another thing I'd thought of about this crazy idea over the next 24 hours, she laughed-- and agreed. Every single time. If that ain't enabling behaviour of the very best kind, I don't know what is.
She even came up with the right adjective: "Instead of calling it 'crazy' or 'ridiculous'," she said, "how about 'audacious'?" And so I signed up for the Esprit Montreal Iron-distance Triathlon that night, and so 2012 became The Year of Living Audaciously.
I've gone through quite the emotional roller-coaster about it all already: everything from "Cool! This will be amazing!" to "WTF was I thinking????"-- and I expect that to continue. Today was Day 2 of The Plan (Day 1 was an official rest day-- gotta love a training plan that starts with a day off!), and I found myself decidedly uninspired after a bad night's sleep. While I ate breakfast, I read yet another article that emphasized the importance of knowing why you're doing an Iron-distance race, because when the going gets tough on race day (and it will, no doubt about it), you need to have that at your core in order to get through it all. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out just why I'd decided to do this: because my reading of a newspaper horoscope happened to coincide with my reading of Fink's book? Because I can? Hell, I'm not even sure that I can, so what on earth is there?
The Plan called for a 30-minute run and a longer swim today, so I layered on some clothes and headed out the door to get the run in outside (I loathe treadmills), thinking At least I can get moving. For the sake of my joints, I decided to do some laps at the local high school track, since that sprung surface was decidedly softer than frozen concrete would be. It was cold and windy, but the sun was out, so off I went.
And a funny thing happened as I trotted around in circles, keeping my heart rate in the relatively low zone Fink had prescribed. I realized at least one of the reasons why I'm doing all of this: halving my savings to buy a tri bike, training 6 days a week, often twice a day, experimenting with nutrition and clothing and hydration and (no doubt) peeing, all in the effort to complete 140.6 miles of self-propelled movement in 17 hours or less on September 8th, 2012. This crazy, ridiculous, audacious stuff. I might not have all the reasons yet, but one became clear:
I'm doing it to be present now. To live and pay attention to now.
If I get ahead of myself and start thinking about the whole race at this point, I'll just freak out-- and there's no need to do that, because I'm not doing the whole race right at this moment. If I dawdle in the past, I'll get caught up in old stuff that's long gone and over-- I could well have been killed in that bike accident, for instance, but I wasn't. No idea why not, so there's no point in puzzling over it. All I can do is pay attention to what's happening right now, whether I'm trotting around a track or in the middle of my 99th length of the pool.
There's something very simple about this realization, I know-- but it also feels profound. I also know it's a lesson that will take plenty of repeating to get me to learn it fully. Fortunately, The Plan involves lots of repetition.
So that's where I am at the moment: starting out on an audacious journey towards 140.6 miles. And here's where I'll be posting, thinking, and/or kvetching about the strange and wonderful things along the way (homemade kale chips, for instance, are rather moreish-- who knew?). Welcome aboard.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
It's been a while since I thought 3 miles was an accomplishment...
...but clearly it's time that I did so again: after a 25-minute swim followed by one and a half hours of water running, I actually put real shoes on and ran for 3 miles on the treadmill this morning! Foot felt fine afterwards, but I stopped then because that's the farthest I've run since my injury and I've promised myself to take it EASY adding distance and/or time to my land-running. Getting reinjured is SO not the plan at this point. I'd rather stop when I feel I can go on than be forced to stop because I can't.
So Yay Me is the message here, I guess. After a rather busy travel-related couple of weeks (both pleasant, so no complaints), I'm now back in one place for at least a little while, so can get back to regular training and ramp things up for HIM work. So far, so good-- I've swum twice this week already, with another swim planned for tomorrow and maybe one on Friday, too; I figure since I'll already be at the pool to continue water running for at least a little while, why not show up a bit earlier and actually SWIM? Seems to be working at the moment, even if today was ridiculously busy in the lap lanes. Ah well-- I tell myself that it's still NOTHING like the mass start of the swim in a race: I haven't been elbowed or kicked in the head yet!
On a more intriguing note, I have over $100 in dividend money from REI to spend (yes, that means I spent a ridiculous amount of money there last year). What to acquire...? Chances are I'll stop by there tomorrow night on my way home from work, as I know I'll be late getting out and thus will run smack dab into rush hour hideousness. Better to peel off when I can and spend some time browsing before braving the craziness to get home. We shall see: endless possibilities await!
So Yay Me is the message here, I guess. After a rather busy travel-related couple of weeks (both pleasant, so no complaints), I'm now back in one place for at least a little while, so can get back to regular training and ramp things up for HIM work. So far, so good-- I've swum twice this week already, with another swim planned for tomorrow and maybe one on Friday, too; I figure since I'll already be at the pool to continue water running for at least a little while, why not show up a bit earlier and actually SWIM? Seems to be working at the moment, even if today was ridiculously busy in the lap lanes. Ah well-- I tell myself that it's still NOTHING like the mass start of the swim in a race: I haven't been elbowed or kicked in the head yet!
On a more intriguing note, I have over $100 in dividend money from REI to spend (yes, that means I spent a ridiculous amount of money there last year). What to acquire...? Chances are I'll stop by there tomorrow night on my way home from work, as I know I'll be late getting out and thus will run smack dab into rush hour hideousness. Better to peel off when I can and spend some time browsing before braving the craziness to get home. We shall see: endless possibilities await!
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